2005-ish, I resolve to assist my finest good friend transfer from the east coast to Portland, OR. I had relocated to Olympia, WA a couple of yr prior, so I had already made the journey in a field truck pulling my automobile on a flatbed, and customarily knew what to anticipate along with having expertise with huge vehicles + trailers by means of rising up on a farm. I fly again east and my buddy has already packed the U-Haul, so all we have to do the following morning is get his automobile onto the flatbed and head out. The whole lot is easy crusing till we hit Missouri (I feel it was April or Could) proper across the identical time {that a} twister exhibits up and rocks the shit out of the decrease half of the state. Semis are getting blown over, interstates are shut down, so we attempt to discover the closest lodge ASAP to attend it out however every part is booked up. We lastly discover a small trucker motel that I’m sure was solely used for prostitution. We’re skeeved out and sleep in our garments for concern of catching crabs or one thing and simply wish to get some sleep and get again on the street on the earliest alternative. Morning rolls round, the climate has cleared, so we hit the street. Visitors is crawling attributable to all of the tipped semis, so we’re already greater than a day delayed. Fuck it, I drive by the night time and many of the subsequent day, which was extra comfy for me anyway since I’m 6’2 and my buddy is like 5’6 at finest, so I don’t have my knees jammed into the sprint when he wants to regulate the one bench seat to drive.
We’re lastly approaching Cheyenne, WY as one other climate occasion occurs. This time, it’s a freak blizzard accompanied by excessive winds, so as soon as once more the interstates are shut down and it’s extremely tough to discover a lodge. We lastly get a room in a small motor lodge hooked up to a seedy bar and diner. Not perfect, however at the least we will get some drinks and put cooked meals ready by an precise individual into our bellies. Now, this specific bar and diner was apparently the favored hangout of native roughnecks and we turned hyper-aware of not becoming in instantly upon getting into. Think about the kind of joint portrayed in a Coen Brothers film, the place the jukebox skips and everybody stares when outsiders stroll in. Precisely that kind of vibe. We sit on the counter, order some beers and meals, and do our greatest to turn out to be invisible and thoughts our personal enterprise. This went south when the 2 native shit-kickers on the desk behind us resolve to entertain themselves by asking us the identical questions repeatedly in a manner that turned much less pleasant. “The place ya’ll from?” “Whatcha’ll doin’ right here?” “Ya’ll drive a truck? Does the brief one sit in your lap?” We’re doing our greatest to diffuse however it’s clear that battle could also be imminent. Ultimately, phrases are exchanged, threats are made, and we simply wish to get out peacefully. We settle up and head for the door, however our aggressors observe. Subsequent factor I do know, my buddy is getting sucker punched within the eye, the opposite tries to glass me with a beer bottle once I intervene, and now we’re in an all-out brawl within the parking zone. I don’t know if a cop was close by or if any person known as, however inside a few minutes all of us get lit up by lights and sirens and instructed to line up towards the wall, palms over our heads. All of us get cuffed, patted down, and put into 2 totally different cruisers so every pair can inform their facet. Clearly, we have been painted because the instigators by the two townies. Well, the cops didn’t essentially purchase it, in order that they jut minimize everybody free earlier than giving us a warning to go away city as quickly because the roads are clear, which we eagerly did the following afternoon.
I’m principally going to yada-yada the remaining as a result of that is already too lengthy. Along with having a fucked up and swollen eye, and me having a few damaged fingers, my buddy then will get meals poisoning from a truck cease Subway in Utah and shits repeatedly alongside the roadside all over Idaho, earlier than we lastly arrive in Oregon about 3 days later than anticipated.
